Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A few excuses for not updating my blog

A few friends have written to me over the past few months asking me why I haven't been blogging for over four months. I've thought long and hard about it, I've realised that I used to blog because I really didn't have a lot of things to do apart from work. Now that I'm married and also have a larger assignment at work, the time that I've had to blog also is fairly limited.

For the longest time, I've been wanting to write and even started a few posts but the fact of the matter is that I seem to have lost my mojo. Most of my posts have been about things that I've seen in life as it happens around me but off late nothing interesting ever happens. Um, well no, that isn't right, all the interesting stuff that happens in my life aren't stuff that I can write about, since I've decided that I would never write about being married etc. I figure that a decision like this would keep potential 'dog house' situations at home to an acceptable level (especially since my wife does read my blog).

Ok, so I'm sure by now you've figured out that I got married sometime between my last post and now. Well, it happened on a beautiful January evening in Bangalore. There are days that go so fast that you can barely hang on to it, well this was a day that went super fast yet it was without a doubt the best day of my life. I woke up that morning like I would any other day and ended it feeling like a million bucks. It was also the day when my right hand almost came out of it's socket after shaking more than to 1500 hands, of the guests at our wedding. That day I even learnt how not to look like a sour puss in front of a camera and developed what is known in the celebrity world as Ohlookthere'sacamera syndrome. Now anytime someone takes out a camera, I kind freeze on a pose with a wide howdeedoo smile plastered on my face.

After the enormity of the wedding and the reception, life slowly meandered into normalcy. I won't bother you folks with what happened in the days since then, except to say, that life makes sense now, it's great to be married! Its a process of falling in love every day and I don't think I'd exchange the last few months for anything else in this world.

Talking about shaking hands and meeting people in your wedding, it was especially tough since 95% of the people there were unknown to me and were friends/relatives of both the families. In the days after the wedding that I would run into someone in Bangalore and they would smile wide and start a conversation, only afterwards realisation would strike that this person had actually come to my wedding and had said something inanely witty that people say to a married couple they actually don't really know well. Now wherever I meet these folks again I end up pretending to know them and so now there are a lot of people in Bangalore who count me among their good friends and I don't even know their name! They wave at me when they pass me by in the roads or stop and joke about how married life is etc. Sigh, I seriously wish people were born with name tags.

Over the last few months I've realised that marriage is a full time activity, one can't really indulge in it the way one would, say, go to a movie or join a french class. There is no on off button or sleep mode for it, you herein forward are in a perpetual state of marriage. Its a nice state when you know that after a hard day's work you go home to a smiling face, when you get to share your dreams of a future, when in a way you feel that a piece of you that you never realised was missing is now filled. So while it is the best feeling to have, you realise that your life changes in more ways than one and there is very little time for things that you would have done in the past.

As a bachelor one of my key activities outside work used to be gyming, and for the past seven months, this has taken a backseat. Getting back into the gym is one of the toughest things that anybody can do. Everyone of the trainers who recognise you look at you and your body with a pity. You look at all the equipment in the gym and think, Ok, I can get back to my full training regime in no time and start off with a vigor only to find out that while your mind is at jet speed your body has slowed down to a gentle stroll. Before long, you overdo it and then wish the ground just opened up and swallowed you and relieved you off your suffering.

A year or so ago, I could run about 5-6 Km every day on the treadmill before my other workouts started, yesterday I ran for 2.21 kms before I knew that my body could have no more, my knees went wobbly, my back hurt and my lungs suddenly started feeling like there was no oxygen in the atmosphere anymore. I spent the rest of the evening pretty much feeling miserable and cursing myself for pushing myself so soon. In a way hangovers and the first day back at the gym are pretty much alike. All the food and drink you've had swims in front of your eyes and you swear to God that if ever you make it out alive, you would never do this again.

Despite all this, I know it's a matter of time before I get back to my once normal routine, though it feels like climbing Mount Everest for the second time with a chubby monkey on my back.

As far as blogging is concerned, it was never my motive to discontinue writing, I've begun to like this a lot and I hope to write a lot more in the months to come.