Technology and potato chips

The more I see technology and the ease it brings, the more I see a potato chip conspiracy. Why do I say this? Think about it, today, you could at the friendly confines of your home can do so many things without moving from your couch or your chair. Within easy range of that bowl of chips. Never before has an individual had so much of information and access in his or her fingertips. For instance, in the past, if you had to learn about an ancient civilisation, you either had to travel to the location or enroll in a course or buy a book that deals with the same. Now, you just google it. In five minutes you are an expert. You move on.

Would you like to catch your favourite sport? No problems. (Yesterday, I saw a cricket match in Zimbabwe, a tennis match in New York and a Formula One race in Italy, blardy amazing!) Would you like to check out the world news while you are at it? Absolutely! Would you like to listen to your rockstar in concert? But ofcourse. You've got the best seat in the house. Are you the type that likes a bit of everything as far as music goes, boy have we got the product for you! Your new iPod can carry upto 10,000 songs, don't let a fact like you know only 200 songs stop you, it's all about virtual storage, you see?

Do you feel like a drive? What what would you like to drive? A Ferrari? A Merc? A Humvee? A Monster truck? Where would you like to drive it? On the street? In the country? Would you like sunny condition? Winter condition? A touch of rains? Would you like to steal the car, be chased by the law as you race other goons without breaking out a sweat? Done deal.

You can even pause it all to get a fresh pack of chips.

Are you bored of playing alone? Would you like to meet people? Sure, get on a chat program or a game portal, play games, talk about world matters, get an cool Avatar, meet a girl, take her out for a date or two, do you think you would like to get intimate, go ahead. No problems of sexually transmitted diseases, the worst she can do is nuke your 'puter but you use the protection of a firewall anways.

What if the girl you met was a actually a 300 pound guy? Well, that's the luck of the draw, honestly do you really really know all those people you date anyways? You use video chat to be sure, if you aren't a 300 pound guy pretending to be a girl, that is.

Have you sinned? Not to fret, online prayer groups are available 24 hours. You could log on to a prayer group and play a game of alpine skiing at the same time. Would you like to donate for a good cause, that too is just click away. Instant Karma, you see.

The fun part is that you could do a combination of all these things at the same time. So, at the a given point in time, you could watch your favourite sport on tv, chat with a close friend, listen to music, shop, have sex and polish off a bag of chips too. What more could you ask for? You could even invent a whole new you, no plastic surgery or no personality training courses needed. You could be a fireman or a policeman or an artist or a soccer player, it all depends on what grabs you at the moment.

If you feel that all this couch time is making you put on a bit of weight, not to worry, there are exercise machines that you can strap around your waist or thighs to jiggle all that fat as you stare at the computer or your tv munching chips.

In the future, if you feel like procreation, I'm sure they are just working on technology to get your genetic source code, this would be protected and licensed to you. Just upload your source code with that of your online partner's, it gets matched at an offsite location in Bangalore, which inturn transmits the information to Indonesia, where your baby is born under controlled conditions. Don't bother getting up to take care of your child, that's been outsourcing as well. You would get a daily progress report by email ofcourse. No late night feeding problems, nappy changes etc. Congratulations to the happy couple.

All you need in life is a nice big screen tv, a surround sound system, the lastest computer and ofcourse that ever faithful bag of chips. In the end, you are a giant potato chip crunching machine, completely hooked on to your gadgets and living a life all in your mind. A la the Matrix. All this while, the potato chip manufacturer's bottom line is silently going over the roof.

(If you've come thus far on this post, switch off your computer. Get out of that chair or couch, it's a beautiful day , go smell the fresh air!)