And we're back..

I think I am too self concious when it comes to writing
I think I'm afraid that the world would someday point at my blog and laugh
I think somtimes I worry too much about being responsible for a failure
I think the confusion in my blog reflects my life

There...I said it. Phew!



Tired and frustrated after a long, difficult and tough week, I travelled back from Bangalore to Chennai a little earlier than usual in the evening to catch the opening match of the football World Cup. All I wanted to do is get a beer and watch soccer on my own.

If I had got what I wanted, then it would have been a perfect evening. And life as we know, is seldom perfect.

What I did get was the prospect of 'bonding' with my parents. Now that they've retired from work they have all the time in the world and really look forward to spending time with me. I should be feeling great about this, I know. But sometimes I feel that life was much more comfortable when they were working, they would be doing their own thing, which was dad being in his study, with work that he carried back home and mom in the bedroom, reading, too tired for any conversation.

I love them to bits, yet there are moments when I wish I wasn't a 32 year old man who is confused with his life, prefering solitude over human contact but I just am, as guilty as that makes me feel.

Anyway there we were watching the game like a billion other people in the world. You could have picked out the fact that these two didn't know much about soccer in a few minutes of spending time with them.

As we were watching the starting few minutes of the Germany vs. Costa Rica, mom started her round of questions,

Mom: Who are the guys in white?
Me: Germany
Mom: Who are the guys in red?
Me: Costa Rica
Mom: Who is the guy in yellow? the referee?
Me: Yes

After a while...

Mom: Can the goalkeeper pick his own colour?
Me: eh?
Mom: Why is he wearing blue? And the other keeper is wearing black..
Me: eh..

Dad who had been on the phone, came into the conversation immediately after Germany scored their first goal in the 6th minute.

Dad: Why are they jumping? Is the match over so soon?
Me: No, Germany just scored a goal
Dad: Ah..is the match live?
Mom: Appa (Dad) can you see the words 'LIVE' written on the corner of the screen?
Dad: Ah. So it is live..
Mom *does her own limited edition roll of the eyes*

As the match progressed both the teams started playing very attacking soccer, the crucial moments were peppered with verbal gems like

Mom: I think the players shouldn't shave their heads...
Dad: Why?
Mom: They can't seem to head the ball into the goal properly..

Dad: The Costa Rican goalkeeper isn't very good...he is letting Germany score at will
Mom: No, the german goalkeeper is bad, he looks sleepy...

Dad: The TV commentator will raise everyone's BP by screaming everytime the ball is near the goal..
Mom: Score a goal, score a goal! (This was when Costa Rica was near Germany's goal)


Then came the fun tete a tete with dad,

Dad: Do you want mangoes?
Me: No Appa
(A 15 second pause)
Dad: Potato Chips?
Me: No
(A 15 second pause)
Dad: Guava?
Me: No
(A 15 second pause)
Dad: Pineapple sweet?
Me: No Appa!
(A 15 second pause)
Dad: Lime Juice?
Me: (sigh) No
(A 15 second pause)
Dad: I can get you...
Me: No dad, please I'd like to watch the corner kick...just want to watch the game.
Dad: ok...lots of foodstuff at home...
Me: (sigh) Ok

Though I was nearly gritting my teeth, I also knew the care that were behind his words. A blardy catch 22 situation if ever there was one.

Then when Wanchope of Costa Rica scored his second goal to bring his team to within one goal difference of Germany, my mother who was passive so far sat up like a bullet. Her arms were flailing and she was shouting 'Go Go Go' and I think in that moment she would have gotten a Costa Rican passport if some official of that country was around. And every time Costa Rica had possession she would mutter 'score a goal, score a goal' staring intently at the screen, like she was using her willpower to help them score (I guess it only works when she wants to get Dad to do something). Anyway she was a firm Costa Rica fan this night. Everyone loves an underdog, right?

And as the match progressed, my mood changed from that of frustration to that of silent thoughtfulness. I looked at these two people with me and I realised that in a way off late they were making up for all the time that they spent away from me as a kid when they were busy working. And that watching a strange soccer game with me was just about the only thing they wanted to do in life at that moment.

Somehow the week or the evening didn't seem so bad in the end, I think I'd love to come back to this reception any week of my life. Any week of my life.