A connection

It was a hectic day by all standards at work, I had to complete a few things so I worked till about 8 PM in the night. As I was walking out of office I thought about how unhinged my life had become, I really just wasn't connecting with people anymore. Everything about my life had something to do with my job. Work had taken prominance in life and everything else was an interruption. I couldn't remember the last time when life was fun.

It was then that I decided to walk around in Spencers a large shopping mall here in Chennai. Maybe being around a large group of people would help, I thought.

As I walked through Spencer's many corridors among the many people the feeling of being unconnected was forever growing worse. I just didn't think I was human anymore, I just didn't feel I was a part of these people who were shopping, laughing eating, walking etc. I sat in Spencer's huge food court surrounded by people and feeling so much out of touch with everything that was around me.

I was an alien or so I felt, I didn't belong with these people. I started feeling claustrophobic, so ditching the dinner I made my way out of the mall and into the warm summer night.

I decided to walk for awhile and work through my thoughts. As I made my way through the abandoned pavements watching cars whiz past, my mind kept thinking, why do I not connect? Why do I not feel? Why am I so skeptical of everything? I just knew all the questions but the answers weren't really forthcoming.

As I made my troubled walk through the dark main road, I began hearing a low moaning from within the darkness of the pavement.

I was apprehensive. It was a desolate part of the road and I wasn't too sure what was around. Against my better judgement I walked closer to the noise. To my shock it was a lady lying down in the pavement. She could have been anywhere from 60 to 75 years old and she looked very weak. A quick appraisal told me her story, her begging bowl was empty, she must have been sitting there all day in the scorching summer sun begging for alms without a lot of success and eventually had become too weak to walk out of there. It had been one of those crazily hot days with the temperature reaching 45C, not exactly a pleasant day by any standards.

I asked her if I could help her, she nodded and told me that she hadnt eaten all day. She wanted to know if I could spare some money for food. I said yes and gave her what I could. She took the money with her hands shaking and thanked me profusely. As I turned to leave I realised that she couldn't possibly go anywhere in that state, so I asked her if I could get her some food. She nodded again. I rushed across the road and on to a nearby lane in search of food and finally found a small bunk shop. They just had pepsi and bananas and they didn't sell any water. I got both and rushed back to the old lady.

She took the pepsi from my hands and drank it thirstily, I think this must have been her first drink of the day. I sat next to her on the pavement, wondering if she needed to be taken someplace for care. She refused to go anywhere. I then asked her if she had a place to stay, she said she has a shack which was a few kilometers down the road and she would catch a bus presently. She had visibly brightened after the drink, the sugar water giving her some instant energy. When she regained some strength in her voice she wished me and told me that I would live well and my children would be prosperous.

She started pulling her self up from the pavement, still worried, I asked her if she had someone to take care of her. She looked at me with her kind eyes and said softly "I have you, my grandson". I had a strange lump on my throat, as I watched her hobble away to the bus stop.

I slowly made my way to an auto stand across the road, thinking about the events in the past few minutes.

I guess that in those few moments she had helped me a lot more than I had helped her, she had made me feel human & connected, if only for a few moments, a few precious minutes.