As i walk into my office, I think of my pet peeve, the hot sun. Cursing the weather, charting out a plan for the day, i fire up my computer. The first thing that I usually see is a mail from Anu (Anuradha Bakshi heads ProjectWhy a Non-Profit Organisaton, which to quote Anu is "a busy planet where so much happens", you would enjoy visiting her blog http://projectwhy.blogspot.com/). When i read her emails my carefully insulated existence develops a few cracks in its walls. How would it be on the other side I wonder? A world where the work profile is not to make more and more money to feed a big corporate machine, a world where the most important career goal is not a promotion and self-satisfaction doesn't mean a more expensive car. Simply put, a world far away from the rat race, from four meetings, fifty phone calls and few dozen emails a day.
Those of us who live in the corporate world, work hard & late hours, feel a sense of satisfaction from what we have gained. We walk up the beaten track, trying to outdo our predecessors, aiming for the next level when we reach a particular level. Where would this end? What do we gain out of this? What have we created? What is our legacy? Who have we benefited? What have we given back to the community? Its a difficult time when confronted by these thoughts, the answers that I get out of my life are unsettling. This makes me wonder even more as to how it would be on the other side. I do not carry a romantic notion of how things would be for people like Anu. I am very sure that every day is a struggle and the pay off paltry. Frustration must flow along with the dozen cups of tea everyday. I wonder though, how it would be to sit under a tree and educate a poor child or to better someone's life by increasing their awareness levels or to help save another human life. As I write, my thoughts run throught the past 10 years, can't remember a day when I have spent in trying doing these things.
What burns the most now is surely not the hot sun but a troubled conscience.
4 comments:
Well you sure have gotten a bit of wisdom - lots don't think those thoughts until way later in life. Is there a balance between feeling guilty and being self-serving?
I think the most meaningful part of life is our relationships with others. Even within the corporate grind there are opportunities to make a difference.... there are so many different roles and so many different ways to contribute and help others. Not everyone is suited for the nonprofit life. You may not have 'saved' another life, but you might never know the impact your kind words or actions had..... the first post I read of your blog was the one where you helped the woman across the street.... remember?? I do. Just struggling with these issues puts you in place where you have above average awareness of your impact on others.
Hello 'R'.
Thanks for coming to visit me - and, if you decide to get THE CIRCLE OF SODOM, I hope you enjoy the read. Let me know!
Love your blog - it's filled with all the same ruminations that wander through my own head ..
Things we have in common: I used to be in banking: New York, London, Miami, elsewhere....now I'm a writer and far from the madding throng here in Connemara.
I also love 'The Shawshank Redemption' and Michael Connelly's books ....
Best,
Pat.
Well-written and thought-inspiring blog!
I, personally, give a hearty back-slap to your final concluding idea. No matter what line of work we're in, we all are cursed with the inner desire to aid, teach and support others (whether selfishly-motivated or...?!)
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