The time comes for you to move on to greener pastures. So when the green pastures send you their firm offer, you feel elated. There is a part of you that feels like Superman and there is another part of you that feels like a shylock, making you think, I'm so great but is it possible that I can get more out of these guys?
You are on an emotional high. You feel that you've got the recognition you've craved and you walk on air. You feel like kissing babies and patting stray dogs (or vice versa if you are an animal lover). Your boss calls you to review the month end figures and you have a wicked grin when you talk. You drop hints hoping that the guy would pick it up. He doesn't, ofcourse. He never did.
The moment comes; you decide to sock it to The Man (The Company). You think of calling the senior most guy, you see visions of him on the floor and on his knees begging you to stay back, telling you that the state of the company is in your hands. You dial the numbers; your hands sweat with anticipation, he picks up the call and you tell him straight off. He asks you why and righteous indignation flows out of your mouth. He listens awhile and asks you to stay, an idea which you reject. He says he will fly down to meet you the next week. You are filled with glee, you were hoping for this, not for him to convince you but for him to try.
The word spreads like wild fire. People look at you when you walk past, some come to you and ask straight off if it was true. You agree with a solemn face. You see happiness in people since you are leaving, you see happiness in people who are pleased at your growth and you see the vindictive bitch glare at you; the news had just upset her day. Your joy is complete.
They want to know what would be your role, what you would be paid, what perquisites you are eligible for, you answer, you evade. You like the attention, you wallow in it like a pig.
The HR head, the guy who never took the time to meet you calls you up. Wants to know the reason why, righteous indignation flows again. You start to feel a bit drained after it all.
The senior guy calls the next day, the chat was prolonged. In the end you figure out that he was more worried that you were going to take some customers away. You vow not to with your fingers crossed. He tells you what a great guy you are and you nod your head. He wants to meet you later that week in person; you know he has to do it as a duty not out of choice.
It's all set, two weeks notice as The Man says.
You walk in the next day, you see messages from friends telling you how much they'd miss you. You walk up to the coffee machine and bang it on the side to make it work. You feel a lump develop in your throat. You are going miss the people, the machine and all. You meet a few customers and they make you sadder. You've worked hard for 3 years to build this up after all.
By the end of the day, the smallest things increases the gloom. The tea shop outside your office, the gym in the fourth floor, they all feel important now. Your heart fills with apprehension about the new company. Will it be as good? Will I have a decent boss? Do I have the steam to pull it off one more time? Thoughts whiz past and you feel really old. You feel unhinged, nothing excites you, the month end rush leaves you cold and you write a post on your blog, watching the world around you.
You are on an emotional high. You feel that you've got the recognition you've craved and you walk on air. You feel like kissing babies and patting stray dogs (or vice versa if you are an animal lover). Your boss calls you to review the month end figures and you have a wicked grin when you talk. You drop hints hoping that the guy would pick it up. He doesn't, ofcourse. He never did.
The moment comes; you decide to sock it to The Man (The Company). You think of calling the senior most guy, you see visions of him on the floor and on his knees begging you to stay back, telling you that the state of the company is in your hands. You dial the numbers; your hands sweat with anticipation, he picks up the call and you tell him straight off. He asks you why and righteous indignation flows out of your mouth. He listens awhile and asks you to stay, an idea which you reject. He says he will fly down to meet you the next week. You are filled with glee, you were hoping for this, not for him to convince you but for him to try.
The word spreads like wild fire. People look at you when you walk past, some come to you and ask straight off if it was true. You agree with a solemn face. You see happiness in people since you are leaving, you see happiness in people who are pleased at your growth and you see the vindictive bitch glare at you; the news had just upset her day. Your joy is complete.
They want to know what would be your role, what you would be paid, what perquisites you are eligible for, you answer, you evade. You like the attention, you wallow in it like a pig.
The HR head, the guy who never took the time to meet you calls you up. Wants to know the reason why, righteous indignation flows again. You start to feel a bit drained after it all.
The senior guy calls the next day, the chat was prolonged. In the end you figure out that he was more worried that you were going to take some customers away. You vow not to with your fingers crossed. He tells you what a great guy you are and you nod your head. He wants to meet you later that week in person; you know he has to do it as a duty not out of choice.
It's all set, two weeks notice as The Man says.
You walk in the next day, you see messages from friends telling you how much they'd miss you. You walk up to the coffee machine and bang it on the side to make it work. You feel a lump develop in your throat. You are going miss the people, the machine and all. You meet a few customers and they make you sadder. You've worked hard for 3 years to build this up after all.
By the end of the day, the smallest things increases the gloom. The tea shop outside your office, the gym in the fourth floor, they all feel important now. Your heart fills with apprehension about the new company. Will it be as good? Will I have a decent boss? Do I have the steam to pull it off one more time? Thoughts whiz past and you feel really old. You feel unhinged, nothing excites you, the month end rush leaves you cold and you write a post on your blog, watching the world around you.
You feel like an outsider in the world that was once yours.
(This was inspired by Mukta's post . Do read her blog, she is one awesome writer!)
8 comments:
Its an amazing feeling.Iam going through the same phase.
Nice Blog !!
Gr8 blog! better things are out there in the world for you.
All the best.
That was a real good one!
Invariably this happens to every person who ventures out for new adventures..
you miss your ride to office, you miss your friends, you miss the coffee (the one you have cursing for the whole tenure as horrible).. those samosas, which never got any appreciation, you miss everything that you've been cursing :))).. wierd!
And the best part comes later...
after you move out, you keep checking with your friends about the project status? were you guys able complete that report? ohh really? what happened to that customer? that's bad, did he really yell at you, he is not the kind, what did you do? :)))))))))))
So, finally we tend to do everthing we never bothered, and tend to miss everything we hated!
Hi R,
Lovely post. You know, as much as it's desirable to move on, savor this sadness as well. What if we get so seasoned with loving and leaving our jobs, that goodbye will be just another letter?
All the best with your future company; your next world to conquer and be in happy in.
BTW, you had a gym? Me envious! :-D
great post..... even though it was a little sad, it made me excited for you to be moving to greener pastures!
desire, thanks and all the very best to you!
anon, you are my first anonymous commentor!! I'm guessing that this is a colleague at work..thanks for your kind words :)
ams, so true!!
Mukta,Thanks, yeah we have a gym here and a fantastic trainer. Gonna miss that lil guy!
Cheesey, Thanks! You're very kind :)
I'm always horribly terrified of changing jobs.. and am grumpy and hateful the first few months in any new place.. and still I managed to change six jobs in six years as well as finally change a country! I'm sure you'll be all right :)
Your time is now and your adventure has just begun. Rock on!
Sorry tooooooooooooooooo busy at work, keeping late hours, busy work period will end only on Oct 31.
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