He is a good man from a good family, they said and she accepts her parents' advice. Conservative at heart, she calmly takes the risk of her life. Is this what she wants? Is she truly happy? No one knows, and I suspect neither does she. Trust is all she has, happiness, she hopes won't be too far behind.
She was born when I was five; this little sister of mine. We met for the first time as she lay in her crib a day after her birth, I touched her little hand she held my finger tight, a moment I would carry with me all my life. I swore that day I would give her all she wants, though now I sit mutely, unable to read her mind. Maybe she became mature beyond her years and left her big brother behind.
The little girl slips away and a lady comes to light.
11 comments:
Hmm why don't you just ask her if she's ok with it?
Quicksilver, its not really as simple as that. She is ok with the marriage, but for reasons which I don't agree with. I just think if it was her view in isolation, apart from doing what is societally correct she might have took her time to decide. (Here, a girl is to be married by 26-27, if she needs to settle down comfortably in life) We are two different people with different views on life. And I respect hers. Taking the decision that she did take required a lot of maturity and confidence. Nowhere in the post is there a mention of a discontent in her part. If she had any, this would never happen. She frankly has no idea what to expect thats all. Thats probably her only apprehension.
I guess its my bias against arranged marriages that is talking more than anything else. I had a long conversation with an american friend about this, he mentioned that arranged marriages are primitive, I differ, as much I don't agree with it, its a system that has worked very well in modern India and infact in some parts of the western world as well. With the divorce rates in the western world being as high as they are, I don't think love marriages are on a positive wicket anyways. I think in any kind of a marriage, someone just takes a chance of their lives. In love marriages one has an inkling of the variables and in an arranged marriage, one goes in with an open mind.
Whoa..I've written a lot. Heck its my blog! :)
I enjoyed this post. Especially the well-written flowering of Womanhood stuff.
In fact those are my main worries. I don't know what it is to be happy (truly and unapologetically) so am always wondering if HE is the one because am never quite sure what it is that will make happy.
And hafta add here.. that i was happiest (that i r'ber) was when I was a kid and a brat! so not sure i can continue to remain thatway..
arranged and love marriages.. i dont know.. my parents made arranged marriages successful and my frens are struggling with their husbands who were erstwhile boyfrens.. congrats to ur sister.. and all the best to her...
phew! sorry for the long comment
DB, Thanks for your wishes, I'm sure things would be great:))
-c, thanks :)
Jaygee, I couldn't agree with you more about having a lot of fun as kids. Yesterday, when I was dragged to church, I found two kids running to one part of the compound and in a few minutes, they would come screaming back. They repeated this a few dozen times, it reminded me how fun it was just to run around when I was a kid and not bother about reaching anywhere in particular. Now, that I'm older, my life seems to be all about reaching someplace. Once I reach, there seems to be another goal waiting for me...
Being an adult IS boring!
Here's something funny:
http://www.badmash.org/index.php?id=8
very sweet write-up.I've had a love marriage and speaking from personal experience, marriage is a big gamble whether it is arranged or love.believe me there r no two ways 'bout it.
Quicksilver, loved that comic strip!
Zaa, Swati, Though all marriages are leaps of faith when you love the person you are going to marry, I assume it doesn't feel that way.
Custom, passed down from one generation to another. It's not that easy to say 'arranged marriage' is primitive & everybody agreed to it. I guess this fact will takes time to be accepeted as time goes.
I agree with swathi
its a gamble
and I wouldnt doubt that arranged marriaged couples end up having more succesful relationships
then 'i love you' marriages
very overrated
anyway love blossoms slowly like a sore...I mean flower.
Dizzyguy, Agreed!
bertissmo, hahaha..right!
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